Curly Straight

My blog is ugly and needs some love.

Hanging out with TJ as he gets into his bucket of unused stuffed animals. Why do so many people give stuffed animals as presents to little babies? He is just now getting into them, and he's 2 years and 3 months old. He has a habit of lining them up, one by one.

He's gripping his penis right now. "TJ do you have to go pee?" I ask, "No." emphatically. I think he's full of malarkey. He's potty trained - but he doesn't tell us when he has to go.

This is my Air Force weekend. I actually don't mind going now. When I was working full time, it was hard to work twelve straight days in a row, with no weekend. Now it's not so bad.

Once this new one comes, I wonder where the path will take me. Maybe I'll start an ebay store and sell only size 9 women's shoes. Something is out there for me, a way for me to make some good dough, I can feel it! But what...ah, the thrill of figuring out life for someone *newsflash* -just had to take him upstairs to pee in the potty - I knew it! *end of newsflash*. Thought lost. I think I was going to say something about the way I feel - because I am pregnant I feel as though it wouldn't be called a midlife crisis, even though I am almost 38. I have a strange way of rationalizing things and yes, I know it.

Sucked in this morning by lighting fixtures online. Our dining room one is so ugly, it needs a facelift.

Enlong Your Schlong.

Seems like TJ has graduated from Elmo to Pooh Bear.

We have a black fluffy cat, well, she's mostly mine. She's John's step-cat. She's cute and has paws that have earned her the nickname of Dustmops and eyes that have earned her the nickname of Eyes in Space.

She's a shy cat and I can't figure out if she thinks I'm her mother or she's mine. Sometimes at night, I'll get woken up by sandpaper kisses on my cheek, and it's her, just checking in.

Spike doesn't understand patting, which is part of her charm. All you need is a straight finger within a foot of her face and she'll come over to it, and rub her face against it, essentially patting herself.

We very rarely see her in the basement, where we watch tv and where our "offices" are and where the cats eat and poo, or on the first floor, where we eat and sit and play. We know she sleeps on a piece of ripped out insulation (is this healthy?) in my shoe closet and will come out at night and only when we are in the bedroom, mostly, to see what's going on.

So. The plumber just left. For what we could have paid about $75 for a part and done the job ourselves, in about five minutes, ended up costing us $252.

I know how to do it for next time, and I will, believe me, I will.

Today at the gym, I am in the middle of talking to a girl I sometimes chat with. She's a blonde, with a young daughter a little younger than TJ. She's behind me, on the stairmaster, and I am on the stationary bicycle. I have to turn my head to chat with her, so when another one of the moms walks by, (blonde too), and starts chatting with her, she doesn't realize that we were chatting.

I am not the least bit offended, as I know she didn't mean to interrupt us.

What goes through my head? "They are talking blonde to each other."

Seriously. This is the way I think.

Another case in point. Today I observed the body language of Winnie the Pooh's Mama Roo in the Heffelump movie when the Mama Heffelump put her trunk around Mama Roo, Mama Roo had her arms crossed and I thought to myself "note the body language of Mama Roo. She wants nothing to do with that Heffelump."

Your baby's growing steadily, gaining about a quarter of a pound since last week.

Since she's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), that makes for a pretty lean figure, but her body's filling out proportionally.

Owie owie owie.

So, at the dermatologist yesterday, putting on the johnny, when BAM, threw out my back. It is continuing to get worse, as it has over the past 24 hours.

How can I throw out my back putting on a johnny? Seriously.

Although come to think of it, last time this happened, I was turning on the shower, another very strenuous movement.

So, the old guy at McDonalds thinks I TRIED to drop my giant blue Powerade on the floor and have bits of it splash onto him? That's why he gave me the sarcastic "thank you" - Ooooo, I was not happy.

If I had another one, I think I would have tried to throw it on him to let him see what it would really feel like if I meant to do it.

Moral: Don't mess with a bitchy pregnant woman who doesn't want to be in McDonalds in the first place.

You know you are a parent when getting your eyebrows waxed is actually a relaxing experience.

True love is when your little boy hands you his booger snot on his finger and you really don't even think twice about wiping it off of his and onto yours.

It does sound a little bit grosser in writing than when it actually happened.

Stopped at the new Whole Foods about three miles from home after Music Class was canceled due to the holiday. Since I forgot to go last week, I probably missed the announcement that there was no class.

We go into Whole Foods with the intention of buying bananas, milk, waffles and cheese.

We walk out half an hour later, with $47 less in our pockets and the four necessities above, along with sushi, French liquid soap and an organic sipping milk for TJ.

What I wouldn't give for a Trader Joes in Rhode Island.

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for a more rounded one.

Sesame Street has creepy Weimaraner dogs now, dressed up as people - dog heads with human clothes and human hands. It's just wrong.

Something clicked today with TJ - he's talking and yelling out the names of things, one after the other.

My two year old just felt my minus 3 month old move for the first time in my belly.

I wish I could time travel or I guess not time travel, really, but just close my eyes and be there without having to pay and definitely without sitting on a plane.

So, in retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to eat an entire bag of Trader Joe's sweet and salty pecans. But it seemed like it at the time.

Suddenly I am in my third trimester.

Your baby now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber), from head to heel.

The Air Force test I took and passed yesterday was the last in a series of five. I have been taking them since October of 2006. This last one was on Leadership and Management. The others were Military History, Profession of Arms, Communication and International Relations.

I am delighted to be done.

Southwest Airlines is the only place I know of that considers a two-year-old an adult.