Curly Straight

My cell phone fills in words automatically as I type emails or send texts, which can be a nice feature, but also gets annoying when it's not the word I would like to use and have to move the cursor back to the word to change it...

when I try to write the word eat it changes it to rat

A glass pan EXPLODED all over the kitchen.

Making veggies and decided to add chicken broth so they didn't dry out, when I put it in, the entire glass pan SHATTERED like it was a bomb. Scared us all, babies crying, Mama shaken up, TJ wondering what was that noise.

Cleaned up most of the glass, only shards remained, and the food, John took care of the rest when he got home. Scary. Thank goodness everyone is ok.

Julia loves to push around trucks and cars as she crawls around the house. We bought her a little pink van. She doesn't love it yet, but I can tell it's going to be a favorite.

TJ didn't own up to it, he said it was Julia, but I'm pretty sure it was him that pinned down the stuffed animals, Gloria, Alex and Melman from Madagascar with 5-pound weights to their necks.

Pooh Bear got away easy, he was holding a 10-pounder in his lap.

So, I ask TJ to go and pick up his train tracks, which are surrounded by books, hard little animals and people, a piggy bank, numerous other colorful plastic toys. Of course, he has to try to climb over me, and over the chair, instead of just going around the table. He picks up one piece of his train track and puts it on his head. "See my hat, Mama?"

And drops it into the room I'm in. The room that is supposed to stay toy-free.

"TJ, get that out of here."

"Mama, I just came in here to give you a hug."

Julia is getting really great with her sign language.

She stopped doing the sign Cat for everything. Now she is partial to Shoes.

When I give her food, she does the sign for Hot, almost as though she is asking me a question. Does the sign, looks up at me. "Is it hot?" - if I say no, Julia, it's not hot,you can eat it, she proceeds on her merry eating way.

If I say yes, it's hot, she blows on it.

Tricks that work when TJ doesn't want to do something, or is dilly dallying to avoid doing it.

When he won't eat his food, I'll say "Oh, only three-year-olds can eat that, I forgot that you are not three," which usually results in him saying "I'm three!" and eating it.

If I'm trying to get him to go potty or brush his teeth and he won't do it, a countdown from five on down usually gets him to do it by the time I get to three.

The chart with Xs for bad behavior and stars for good behavior really worked to get him to stop telling people to "Stop it!" - which is huge, because he's pretty bossy.

Sometimes when I tell him to do something, or tell him the way it is, he says "I know it" in this saucy little tone.

Don't know WHERE he gets it from.

Julia, as we all know, enjoys her food.

Her latest favorite is roasted red pepper hummus. She sucks it off crackers, rather than eating the whole cracker. Really, she just prefers it in a bowl. Or sometimes straight from the container.

Julia's mullet is at least two inches long in the back. The top and sides very, very thin, mostly bald.

She pulls it off though.

Julia and I thoroughly enjoyed cheese enchiladas for lunch on the 5th of May.

TJ is getting very interested in spelling. He asks me how to spell a word, mostly his family's names - Ali, Bebe, KK, Mommy, Daddy, etc. but sometimes characters from Disney or something similar. When I spell it, sometimes he says "good job."

Our lawn guy quit. Well, he is moving and isn't going to be cutting our lawn anymore for personal reasons. I ran into him a few days ago and he told me.

So I decided to try to start up that mower myself. Tried and tried to pull it, but it was stuck. Tell John about it. He gets home from work and I hear "vrooom" starts right up. Apparently somehow a dog toy was lodged in the blades and stopped it from operating.

The next day, I try again. Vrrrrrooom, starts right up and I start mowing the side yard. Not bad, going right along. Not beautiful, and maybe not exactly straight, but it's my first time in 39 years doing this, so it's not too bad.

Then I decided to tackle the back yard, back and forth, back and forth. The edges are hard to get, but in general, it's looking ok.

Front yard next. First I have to call my neighbor to help me figure out how to empty the bag. Get that done. Now onto the front yard, otherwise known as Two Giant Hills.

I do the flat part, back and forth, back and forth, feeling like kind of a badass out there, mowing the lawn all by myself.

Try to push it up the hill. Not going. Ooooof. Push some more, using all my muscles. Totally not going. I feel like a weakling. Get mad! Grrrr, push! Push. Nothing. Mow what I can, put it away.

Today I realize, I forgot to do in front of the garage. I power the lawnmower back up and see a little gear shifter thing. Hm. Yesterday, I had the big bar engaged the whole time, but not that little gear shifter. Let me see what it does. Oh my!!! This makes it go. It's a gear shifter that puts it into drive, apparently. Didn't realize this yesterday WHILE I MOWED THE ENTIRE LAWN WITHOUT HAVING THE LAWNMOWER IN GEAR.

I may as well have used scissors.

Lately TJ has been spinning some tales. First he told me that the babysitter punched him in the leg while they were driving.

Then today John fell asleep in TJ's bed and I tried to get TJ to take a nap with him. About 20 minutes later, TJ comes up and tells me that Daddy kicked him out of his bedroom.

When I asked him why, TJ tells me it is because Daddy said that TJ was snoring.

Last night John came home late. I was hanging out downstairs reading. Amadeus, of course, was right by my side.

Our doorbell is broken, but we usually don't need it because the dogs are our doorbell.

Suddenly, Amadeus looks at me, and BOOKS ASS to the door, barking. Georgia not far behind.

I had stupidly left the door wide open. A man is standing there. Dogs are going nuts, bow wow wow WOW, wooof woof woof woof!! I'm kind of freaking out, because I wonder why someone is at my door at 9 p.m.

Took me a few minutes to figure it out, but it's our plumber. He had accidentally deleted my phone number and needed to coordinate a time for some work and had decided to stop by after finishing a job in our neighborhood.

I told the dogs to sit. They reluctantly sat. They behaved while I stood outside and talked to him.

My heart was still beating fast almost an hour later.

I'm definitely reducing their rent.

The drunk fisherman in the park told me my dog was pretty and I was pretty too. And Happy Mother's Day. And this made me feel happy. I'm thinking maybe more attention needs to be thrown my way.

So, poor Julia fell head first, fully clothed, into TJ's bath a couple of weeks ago. She seemed to be fine with it, until it was time for her to take a bath again.

She screams and cries like it was the end of the world when we give her a bath now. When it's time to put her into the tub, she clutches on with a ninja grip. Once her fingers are pried off, she stands up, holding on to the side of the tub and lets out cries that I haven't heard since she was an infant, all while looking up with pitiful eyes. "Help me, help me!"

I can't take it anymore, I feel so badly for the little girl, so three days ago, I decide that she is going into the bathtub every night, she has to get over this. Set up the cd player, play lullabies and give her a bottle of warm milk to try to calm her down and she hates it still...clutches, cries and screams.

The next night, I try to bribe her with chocolate. No go. Still with the clutching, cries and screams.

Tonight, I came up with the idea of bubbles. I blew bubbles into the air and made really happy noises. She still stood up in the water, on the side of the tub but I actually managed to get some giggles out of her, as she watched the bubbles float down and pop on her.

Tomorrow the Gazillion Bubble Machine is going to a new home. It's turning from an outside toy to a bathroom toy.

Hopefully all the sadness will subside and she will go back to happily splashing in the tub like she used to do, willingly, giggly and fun.

For Mother's Day, TJ gave me a Lipton teabag, attached to a picture of a teapot that he colored purple and green and red that said "You are my cup of tea."

We drank the tea together.

He also told his teachers this...

What is your mom's name?
Anne

What does she do?
She helps me with anything I say.

What is her favorite color?
Uh...I don't know.

What is her favorite food?
Spaghetti and sauce. Same as me and my face gets dirty.

What is her favorite movie?
Cars.

How old is she?
Um...14.

What do you like to do with her?
Play with her.

Why do you love her?
Because I give her love and make her heart melt.

TJ to Daddy: Your hair is freaking crazy.

Just had a very Zen few moments in the backyard with the dogs, some potato chips, some chocolate and the sun.

Sometimes it is so hard to get things done. I feel as though it sometimes takes forever to just feed these kids in the morning. TJ likes to play and do other things in the morning. He gets distracted by his toys and his books and his Madagascar stuffed animals and life in general.

He needs to eat, because when he doesn't have food in his system, forget it. Crabbiness prevails.

Julia usually doesn't have a problem eating breakfast. As my mom puts it, she takes her eating seriously. After eating a big hearty breakfast, Julia may or may not need a nap. I put her down and she cries or talks or sleeps, depending. But if she's tired and she doesn't sleep, it's not a good idea to leave the house, because it could be a disaster. Yet I need to give TJ a heads up so he knows what's going on, and what we are doing. I can't predict the future though, so hopefully he's learning to be flexible.

He needs to get dressed, every day, unless I declare it Pajama Day, which is a rare occasion. He may or may not get dressed by himself. Today, I told him seventeen times to put on his underwear so we could get ready to get out of the house. Figured I would start with that, the most basic of the clothing. He wouldn't do it. After he finally pees in the potty upstairs, I tell him "go downstairs and put on your underwear." I go downstairs two minutes later and he is playing naked in the living room.

Julia decides she is still hungry, so at this point, I plop her in her highchair for Breakfast #2, which consists of going back and forth to the kitchen, opening cans of fruit or peeling fruit, making pancakes or waffles (ok, just in the microwave, but still), getting her cup of milk, giving her a bowl, because she likes to have an empty bowl on her highchair to fill up, and on and on. At least she's not at the point yet where it has to be the blue bowl or the Mickey Mouse bowl. Any old bowl will do.

Lead TJ to his room. Tell him to put on his underwear. He sticks his tongue out at me. I tell him NOT TO DO THAT. At this point, I'm frustrated. He cries. I have to hug him and comfort him at this point. I feel bad because I made him cry, poor baby.

He finally works his way over to the underwear drawer. Can't open it for some reason. I take a break from picking up game pieces that are scattered all around his floor, open the underwear drawer for him and start to give the 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. He grabs a pair of underwear. Puts it on his head.

I am not even kidding.

Julia has ablutophobia. Fear of bathing. Thanks google!

She has a swollen thumb and the doctor recommended x-ray. It's fine. Nothing.

While at the hospital, I show her the fish in the giant tank. A fountain with running water is nearby. She spots it right away and does the monkey clutch onto me, she must think it's a bathtub. The monkey clutch consists of her wrapping her legs around my body and her arms around my neck and shoulder area with a kung-fu grip that is seriously hard to release.

Poor little girl.

Mama: TJ, why didn't you sleep in your own bed last night?

TJ: I was too tired to sleep in my own bed.

Mama: That doesn't really make sense.

TJ: Well, there was a troll, so I ran upstairs to your room.

Mama: Did you see the troll?

TJ: Yes.

Mama: What does a troll look like?

TJ: They have sharp teeth, sharp claws, sharp toenails, sharp feet, sharp hair, sharp noses, sharp bellies and sharp everything.

Mama: Are trolls nice or mean?

TJ: Mean, they take people on a bad adventure.

Mama: Are there any nice trolls?

TJ: Zero nice trolls.

Mama: What would get rid of the trolls?

TJ: The troll spray will make the trolls disappear.

Mama: Anything else to tell me about the trolls?

TJ: Yes, they are just scary things.

TJ likes to make computer based paintings.

I hung a couple up above my desk a month or two ago.

Today, I took one down and was thinking about sending it to the grandparents or maybe Auntie KK.

He came upstairs, looked at it on my desk on top of a piles of papers.

"Hang that back up," he says.

Julia is now 14 months, almost 15 months old.

She's the world's fastest crawler. She can stand and walk holding onto a toy, she can pull herself up and cruise around on furniture.

She could totally walk if she wants to, but she would rather hold onto our hands or our pants.

Today when I went to get her after working out, Carissa in the daycare said that she took two steps by herself. She was using a toy to support her as she took steps and Carissa took it away to see what happened and it sounded like Julia seemed surprised but she took a couple of steps!

No indication of her doing it at home. Wonder what else she does when we are not looking. She probably has parties, is driving, writing, talking, doing yoga, etc. Until we walk into the room, then all activity ceases, except for superfast crawling, eating, and signing.

Oh, and I can't forget to mention the incredible snuggly hugs and cuddles that I get when I hold her that I wish I could bottle.

Julia is not standing on her own or walking yet.

She totally could, but she really chooses not to.

She has the grocery cart walker thing and instead of walking with it, which she can do - I have seen her - she pushes it around, crawling on her knees.

So apparently I use the word Freakin to describe things and now so does my 3-year-old.

"Shut the window," he tells me the other night, in front of our guests. "It's freaking cold out there."

We have gone without curtains in our bedroom, since we moved in here in 2005. We have shades, just not curtains on the windows.

Finally decided to order curtains for the bedroom. Did research, measured, picked colors, etc, and ordered rods and the curtains. Received curtains, had to get them hemmed by a tailor. Rods backordered until May 1, supposedly. They arrived yesterday and we realized that we didn't take into account the width of the windows.

So, we have mini curtains that are the correct length, but don't meet in the middle on both windows. We decide to put all four curtains on one window and it made such a big difference in sleeping last night. We didn't wake up today until 8!

About to order two more sets for the existing window, which now has none.

We'll be sleeping until 9!

Can someone just make sure that John's work, and TJ and Julia know our new schedule?

TJ and John are outside, I greet them from the window after I venture downstairs.

I hear TJ yelling "Mama, Mama! Look! We have a pool now!"

I look outside and he's standing in the buff in the Big Bird pool.

"Is it cold?" I ask, from the kitchen window.

"Yes! Stick your hand in!" he tells me.

Julia did the sign and said the word "more" yesterday!

At least twice.

Julia is asleep, I'm trying to get ready to get out of the house.

I ask TJ for help.

He actually starts to put things away, so I walk into the kitchen.

Walk back into the living room and he points to his toe - "Look! I have Big Bird on my toe."

Instead of picking up his toys, he decided to put the yellow Big Bird finger puppet on his toe and thinks it is great.

He is in his room right now with the order to put on his socks. I so know it's not going to happen.

The boy needs to learn to focus.

TJ: Mama, I want to go to the condo and bring the flashlight and go into the basement and see the creepy creatures on the wall.

A bird is singing outside our window. A high pitched tune - wooo wooo wooo.

I whistle back to it, three times. It makes its noise back to me. Repeat about 10 times.

TJ looks at me and says "Mama, I didn't know you knew how to chirp!"

Wires?

I hate them.

I want a wireless world.

It should not be a mess on my desk, just because I have two laptops, the home phone, a lamp, a baby monitor and my phone charger.

I even have them in a docking station and it still gets crazy. Mixed up, messy wires stress me out.

Julia is definitely saying more words now.

More, cat, dog, dada, TJ, what's that...some easier to understand than others.

My absolute favorite is her saying "more" in her little tiny voice, with an emphasis on the mmmmm just completely melts my heart.

I'll give her more of whatever she wants.

Julia is sleeping and I can hear what's happening from the monitor.

I hear a noise in her room, it's loud and steady and rhythmic. I cannot figure out what it is. Is there a cat trying to get out? No, I know that sound and that's not it. Pipes banging? No. What can it be?

I finally figure it out, it's her sucking her thumb! No wonder she has a blister on it.

She's now 1 year and 3 months old.

She has her top four teeth and has for a while.

Right now she has FOUR more teeth coming in.

Two more on the top, one more BIG one on the bottom that has already popped through and one more where I just noticed a little white dot today.