I never thought I would be a stay at home mom. I sometimes still don't think I am, really, between drill weekends and property management and Executive Director, it doesn't seem like I have enough time at home to be considered a stay at home mom. But I am, basically, that. Which is fine, more than fine. It's really great. I'm psyched to be able to spend this time with TJ and Julia. Everyone says they miss this age, and yes, I can understand that. It definitely has its moments when the two of them are crying or fighting over something, it's not always so fun. But it ends. And then TJ runs around the highchair with Julia in it, and she laughs with delight, and looks behind her on one side, then the other, and she screams when she sees TJ. And I laugh. And she laughs. And TJ laughs and I think of how lucky I am to have this time with them, to be able to read them and know what they need, because I am with them so much. I know when they are hungry, tired, excited, crabby, loving, playful, happy or bored. And I act accordingly.
I feed them breakfast every day, and get to eat with them, and drink coffee and do the sign language sign for hot and see Julia do it back to me. TJ asks me "what are we doing today, gym, school, church?" and I answer what's on the agenda for the day.Sometimes I surprise them with a trip to the zoo or a road trip to see Ali and Bebe. I'm going to miss that when he goes to school full-time and we have to be there each day, every day, on time.
It's the little things that I think I will remember when I look back at this time. I don't know what I will think of - my memory is not always so great - but I hope I remember playing and loving and laughing with them. Doing a puzzle (or six) with TJ, dancing with Julia.
On certain days I walk to pick TJ up at his "school" - it's not the best walk, or so I thought. A busy road, with trash thrown on it. But now it's even worse, they are doing construction. Once the construction is done, it will make me appreciate it, it will seem quiet, the busy road. The trash could be much worse, although I still want to wear gloves and bring a bag and pick it up as I walk along, why don't people know they are so nasty to throw trash on the road?
I know I will look back and think about the walk and picking him up in the double stroller and being psyched that he will still sit in it - and really love that I was able to do that, to show them the joy of walking and seeing different sights than are normally seen. I hope that they are somehow learning from this time and it is helping them to develop into good communicators and have a good sense of humor and love nature and music. Even though they probably won't remember - I hope that they know that their Mama really tried to encourage the makings to guide them into really cool, appreciative, fun little people.