Curly Straight

I just put on a new pair of socks to warm up my (always shockingly) chilly feet and there is a sticker on the bottom that says Folding by Teresa Jimenez.

Seriously. In love with Apple.

They made the MacBook Pro charger cord with little pull-out extensions on the plug so you can wrap the wire around it, getting us one step closer to the ideal wire-free world.

Here is what I just heard when I called a customer service phone number.

"Thank you for calling. Goodbye."

Julia is not going to let Georgia get ahold of the 100 piece dinosaur puzzle.

"Mine!" she says, running away from the dog, clutching the puzzle to her for dear life.

Until she gets distracted by something else, flings the puzzle and shuffles off to the next thing.

When I say "I feel fat," it doesn't mean "I feel fat." I don't think I am fat, or look obese. Probably no one else notices that I look different, based on my feeling fat.

When I say that I feel fat, it means I feel as though I haven't worked out in a while and have been eating yucky foods and drinking too much and my pants are not fitting well and right at that moment in time, I don't feel as though I am at my best.

TJ tells me, while looking out the window: "I want to jump out the window into the snow."

Mama: Probably not a good idea.

TJ: Would I get sent to jail?

I wonder what will be next, which household appliance will be shrunken down to a teeny tiny size so we can take it out in our pockets.

Watching Julia eat her very first Fluffernutter sandwich today was a true joy.

When my one-year-old daughter arrives home, she takes her coat off and puts it away.

I find that to be a beautiful thing.

Julia just brought me a bowl of plastic food with a fork and a spoon from her new kitchen playset.

I am not sure if I should eat the lemon, the banana, the lettuce, the mushroom or one of the two hot dogs first.

Julia is delighted in the fact that she can walk backwards. Positively beaming.

Julia loves this song:

"Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy...and I feel like loving you!!"

With a tickle at the end.

Makes her smile every time.

Georgia sleeps in in the mornings, hours longer than the rest of us.

She slowly strolls downstairs, and if she could, she would be scratching her gray beard saying "gimme a cup of coffee."

What is more annoying than cleaning up 100 pieces of a puzzle or plastic food pieces only to have your beautiful child immediately dump them out?

TJ: All kids run slow.

Mama: Yes, they do. But once they get a little older, they will be able to run faster.

TJ: NO! NOT KIDS. Pigs!!

Mama: Oh. Pigs. Yes, all pigs do run slowly.

TJ: Yes. They have short legs, that's why. All the other animals run fast. Zebras run fast because they have longer legs.

She's always been a good sleeper, my Julia.

So last night when I put her down, I could tell something was not right when she was still crying 15 minutes later. I settled down TJ into bed and went into Julia's room. I find a crying baby, standing up, wearing just a diaper. The dark blue snowman fuzzy footed pjs I had dressed her in are in a heap on the floor by her crib where the hamper is usually located.

She's pointing at her dresser yelling "I-ya" (Elmo). Unfortunately, all her Elmo clothes are in the wash. I find her a fuzzy pink pair of heart pajamas and top it off with a Little Mermaid nightgown and that seems to satisfy her.

Once she has on the right outfit, she sleeps through the night.

Oh man. Woke up this morning with a pain in my back in a place that I never even knew existed. I'm blaming it on stress although it's also because my body knows that she's 40, I'm pretty sure. I take good care of myself, especially lately so it's maddening to me that I wake up with aches and pains.

My knee, my back, my neck all have their scheduled shifts and rotate feeling pain.

"Hey Neck, it's me knee. Can we switch days? I can't work this weekend."

"Sure, Knee. No problem. I've been meaning to add some extra hours in to her neck pain."

"OK, great."

Maybe more stretching is in order. Yoga? Something needs to be done.

Either that, or I need to change it up and start living hard and fast. I can be one of those 100-year-old people on the news who say they owe it all to whiskey, wine and cigars.

The first words out of Julia's mouth this morning when she woke were not Mama or Daddy or Help or Eat.

First thing we hear through the monitor is her yelling "Teeeeee Jaaaaaaaay! Teeeee Jaaaaaaay!"

Repeat about 10 times.

TJ doesn't hear it because he is sleeping soundly. When I tell him, he puffs up with pride and says "I heard her from my room."

Mama, walking in from a trip to Lowe's with TJ and Julia: TJ, take off your coat.

TJ: I'm cold.

Mama: Well, you could do some jumping jacks.

TJ: I'm not that cold.

They need to invent a refrigerator that has the front doors made of dry erase board. the possibilities are endless for messages between family members, for reminders and for kids to practice their writing on. It also has to be magnetic, of course, for artwork.

No word of a lie, here is a note that TJ just transcribed to me.

Dear Abigail,

I am sorry that I poured milk on your head.

I was just testing to see if the milk was gone or not gone.

I won't do it again.

I am sorry Abigail.

Your friend,

Thomas

He signed it and drew a little crazy circle ("we need to add a heart" he told me.)

I added in my own note -

Dear Abigail's Parents,

We are so sorry that Thomas did that today. We feel awful. He didn't get any stories tonight before bed as punishment and it will not happen again. we explained to him that is not the way to see if any milk is left.

I-ya has been the name of Elmo for as long as Julia could say I-ya. She's a bit obsessed with the red monster and will settle for no other sleeping wear. Must have Elmo. Mama must do laundry every day because she doesn't own that many pairs of Elmo pajamas.

John asked her tonight who was on her shirt. She looked at him and said, clear as day. "Elmo.".TJ, especially, thought it was funny and asked her about twenty times "who is that on your shirt, Julia?"

Each time, the answer was the same. "Elmoooooooooooooooooooooooo."

I find it a beautiful thing that Sephora tells me "thank you, gorgeous" after I place an order. Also, brilliant marketing.

It would be fun to retire in NYC. Or at least have a place there to stay when I needed to go there to get an NYC fix.

The prices are crazy for what you pay for square footage you get. But, it is like that in all of NYC so it's somewhat normal.

For the same price you pay for a 900 sf condo in Brooklyn, you could get a big 4-bedroom house in certain areas of Rhode Island.

Why doesn't she like to take naps anymore?

Naps are so good. For everyone involved.

TJ is picking out dvds at the library.

He has two to choose from. He does einey meenie miney mo. And it works out that he gets to take home the one he wants!

"Thank you finger!" he says, "Thank you for picking that one!"

At the gym on the elliptical. Working out, watching tv.

The entire time, the newscast has a border at the bottom with a picture of a Burger King sandwich - two for $3.33.

Saw a television ad for the Catholic Church the other day, asking people to please come back.

Trying to wrestle the box of Roasted Gorgonzola Trader Joe's crackers away from Julia so I can have some. She won't let them go.

Julia often exclaims "Yeehaw" when she places a hat on her head.

Tonight was the first night out that Julia sat in a booster seat instead of a high chair.

Also the first night she stood in front of and jammed out to a guitar player playing Pink Floyd, while wearing pink rubber rain boots on the wrong feet.

Need tea desperately.