John had to work from home today so I had to get the kids out of the house completely because it's too hard for him to concentrate. We distract him somehow or something. Hm. Can't imagine!
Ikea sounded like a fabulous idea for some reason so I load the two kids into the car around noon. I should have known better, Julia is rubbing her eyes already and yawning at this point.
From the get-go, she won't stay in the cart, once we finally get there after the windy ride through Sharon. There has to be a different way to get there, my Liar GPS takes me the crazy way through residential streets.
"I want to walk!" Julia tells me, crabbily, after having a fit when I put a spatula in the cart next to her. "NO! I don't wike it." She likes to be alone in the carriage, apparently. Or actually, I take that back. She doesn't want to be in that carriage, not at all. "I want to walk," she says and she means it.
Maneuvering the crowds at Ikea is a feat in itself, let alone while pushing a cart and controlling a 4-year-old and the 2-year-old, who has decided she wants to not only walk, but walk backwards through the store.
Figure it is a good time to check out the restaurant.
Which is right by the kid area. Where there is a slide, two rockers, and a kid sized egg-shaped chair that you can pull down a cover like a shade and hide inside. Oh and it spins too. And thousands of stuffed animals. Stuffed animals galore.
So it took a long time to get out of there, since they don't let you take the carriages upstairs. What?! It's definitely a conspiracy.
We manage to get the tray of our food to the table. Some guy gave us a wheeled tray cart that you can stack multiple trays of food on so you are not balancing too many. Genius. He hooked us up, I had no idea what those strange looking contraptions were.
We share macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, chocolate cake, chocolate and water. It cost about $8. TJ is excited that we are high up in the air and there are flowers on the rooftop.
We finish, Julia discovers a tv with cartoons. Won't leave. Ay yi yi. Have to grab her, screaming and we go back into the store.
Julia is not happy until she finds the couch section. She tries out every couch, every chair, every fold out bed, until I scoop her up again and carry her screaming to the elevator downstairs, where surprise, surprise, she won't get back into the carriage.
TJ will, he's more than happy to, actually.
At this point, I'm aiming for the exit. Julia is pissed. Crying, screaming, yelling. Folding herself up into a ball when I try to put her in the carriage. Some lady tries to help to no avail.
I let her walk, she's staggering around, mad as hell, weaving in and out of the people until she sees a bed on display. "I'm tired!" she announces and gets into the bed, commandeers the huge stuffed dog and won't get out.
Finally, we somehow coerce her out of the bed, and she is walking so slowly, carrying the dog.
TJ tells her "A giant is behind you, chasing you!" and that puts some fire under her bum bum. "An alligator is coming! Hurry!" We convince her the safest place to be is in the carriage.
"I'm hungry," she tells me and luckily we are getting to the end, near the checkout. I spot some cookies, grab them, pay and we are done. Phew. Bag the stuff, get a cinnamon roll and a pear soda and we are out.
We get on the "moverator" - I think that's what it's called, like a people conveyor belt, but it's sloped and the shopping cart wheels lock into it so they don't move.
Julia turns around and says to a guy with black hair, who actually does look like John, "Hi Dada!" happy as can be.
TJ says "a bird just flew into the Exit sign," so I ask him what sign is that and he says "that one, right there - E-X-I-T." The kid reads now. It kills me. It makes me cry every time.
Julia falls asleep within five minutes of getting into the car.
Seemed like a much better idea when I first came up with it than once it was done.
Whoooof.