Curly Straight

Mama to Mimi, can I talk to TJ_

Mimi, he does not want to talk to you.

Mama, tell him I need to know what comes after uno.

TJ gets on the phone.

TJ, dos, dos.

Mama, are you having fun, TJ

TJ, yes but I miss you Mama.

Mama, yes honey I miss you too.

TJ, I miss you one hundred.

Mama, I miss you one hundred and one.

TJ, I miss you one hundred years, Mama.

Mama: TJ, let's say prayers tonight.

TJ: OK

Mama: So you start like this, and fold your hands and tell God what you are thankful for...

Mama says a little prayer, and asks TJ if he wants to add to it.

TJ, very quietly: I love my mommy and my daddy and Julia and even myself.

Mama: Amen

TJ just put me in time out for 39 minutes because I accidentally erased his picture he painted with his computer keyboard.

TJ: I am a dinosaur, in a dinosaur parade.

Walks into kitchen, brings me the refrigerator magnet with "K" on it.

TJ: You be K-Rex.

Leaves, walks into kitchen, brings Julia the refrigerator magnet with "B".

TJ: Julia is B-Rex

Walks into kitchen, comes back with the "T" magnet.

TJ; I'll be T Rex.

TJ, in car on the way to the Camp last week:

I don't want to be a chicken.

I don't want to be a duck.

I just want to be me.

Mama: TJ, it's time for bed.

TJ: But my bones are not tired, Mama.

Mama: TJ, how does a waffle and cold oranges for breakfast sound?

TJ: Food doesn't make any sound, Mama!

Mama: Daddy hooked me up by cleaning my car.

TJ: I told you he is an awesome daddy.

TJ: I played with Gabriel today.

Mama: Oh I saw his mom today. She seems really nice.

TJ: What does she look like?

Mama: She is about my height and she has brown hair.

TJ: What shape is her hair?

TJ finds an old pacifier in a drawer today and tries to give it to Julia. Neither one of the kids ever used pacifiers. Julia sucks her thumb, but only at night and TJ never used a pacifier or sucked his thumb.

Mama: No, don't give that to her.

TJ: Why not?

Mama: It's for little babies.

TJ: When they are first boring?

TJ: You got a baby in your belly?

Mama: No.

TJ: It kind of looks like you do.

New friend to TJ: How old are you?

TJ: I'm 4 years old.

New friend: When did you turn 4?

TJ: on my birthday.

TJ: Stupid.

Mama: TJ, we don't say that word in this family. Do you know what it means? It means not smart.

TJ: OK.

Later on he's eating his pasta.

TJ: Stupid pasta is too hot.

Mama, with a mean look: TJ.

TJ: Not smart pasta.

TJ, tells me after watching the Fox and the Hound. "I think all the boys are brave and all the girls are afraid."

We had a talk about how that is NOT true in life. It is amazing how the media can be so influential at any age.

Mama: TJ, you have to start using full sentences and speak clearly when you talk.

TJ: A full sentence?

Mama gives some examples.

TJ, loud and clear, quickly comes out with the following: I love Julia.

I like to color.

I eat my lunch at school.

I like your hair, Mama.

So Julia loves seeing the crossing guard as we drop TJ off at school.

HI! She'll yell to her from really far away.

BYE! When we are leaving.

Unless there's a dog or a baby nearby. To Julia, a dog and a baby are much more interesting than a crossing guard.

TJ sees striped lines where we parked. "That's a little crossing guard," he tells me.

"No, I tell him, that's not a crossing guard, it's a crosswalk.The crossing guard wears yellow and helps us cross the street. I don't know what her name is."

"Maybe her name is Yellow," TJ decides.

Mama: I love the sound of the rain.

TJ: I want the rain to go away.

Mama: You know what else is my favorite sound?*

TJ: Ker-plop?

*TJ and Julia laughing

TJ: Mama, Julia is only this tall.

Mama: I know, she's a wee little thing.

TJ: She's not a baby crumb.

Julia was 0, then she had a birthday and now she is one.

TJ: Mama, a little girl at my school says "zissors" instead of scissors. We try to help her to say it right.

Mama: TJ, can I give you a kiss?

TJ: Mm hmm.

Mama gives a kiss on cheek.

TJ: I wiped it off. I'm sick of kisses.

TJ: I don't want bread, I want toast.

John: TJ, I am going to read you a story without a book before you go to bed.

TJ: Tell me the story about Ali and Bebe turning into dinosaurs.

Pause.

TJ: No. That would be too scary.

TJ told John that he was being unrespectable tonight.

TJ, sitting in the tub with the shower running too: Mama, look at me! I'm taking a shower and a bath at the same time.

Mama: Wow! What's that called?

TJ: Fun!

I often give the kids frozen waffles for breakfast. Quick, easy, they like them.

I buy any kind - the organic ones, the well-known brand, the generic brand, homestyle, multigrain. I try to keep away from ones shaped like things or that are too amusing, because it is my thought that the kids will always want that kind.

The other day at Dave's, they were 2 for $5 so I bought a whole variety of different ones than I usually do - chocolate chip, blueberry, strawberry frozen waffles.

TJ looks at me and says "How many other cool waffles are there that I have not seen?"

Our house has ladybugs that visit us on occasion. TJ is scrutinizing one that is on the windowsill.

"It's a boy ladybug," he declares.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"It doesn't have eyelashes," he responds.

TJ: I want Buzz Lightyear and Woody.

Mama: Do you want to put it on your Christmas list for Santa?

TJ: No. I just want to buy it at the store.

Mama, watching TJ snap his fingers: TJ, you snap a lot.

TJ: I know.

Mama: Why do you snap so much?

TJ: I like to use my snapping power.

We are on our way to the basement to find a missing puzzle piece and to get the Christmas ornaments.

TJ: The dryer is open! The light is on in the dryer! I will go close it.

He then decides it is a good time to clean out the lint trap.

I carry on to the storage area and get the Christmas box.

TJ: I can't do it! I can't do it.

Mama: TJ, I don't want to hear you say that, I know you can do it. Just try, honey.

TJ: I can't! It won't go in!!!

Storms out the door.

TJ: That freaking thing!

Mama: TJ, what should we get Andy-de for Christmas?

TJ: A hankerchief

Mama: What should we get Daddy?

TJ: A xylophone

Mama: What should we get Ali?

TJ: A blanket

Mama: What should we get Mimi?

TJ: A toy, so I can play with it.

Mama: What should we get Julia?

TJ: A big blankie, so she can sleep better.

Mama: What should we get KK?

TJ: A flower, but it won't last, so I'm changing it.

Mama: What do you think?

TJ, after some serious thought: The coziest pillow.

Mama: What about Bebe?

TJ: Ravioli
(Mama's note - which is just what I happen to be making for dinner right now.)

Mama: What are you going to get for Mommy?

TJ: A new xylophone.

As I walk into the room and TJ sees me dressed for the day, he greets me with "hello Beautiful!"

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have an aversion to hair in places it shouldn't be. Like on the soap. Or in the shower. Or on a sink. It grosses me out for some reason. Has for a long time.

Leaving church tonight, as we are getting into the car, I find a long, light hair on my jacket. I make the appropriate "Yuck" noises and throw it out the window.

TJ is fascinated by this and wants to know where the hair is now.

"TJ," I tell him, "don't worry about it, it's in the snow."

"Get it!" he says.

"No, TJ, it's gone. It's a hair. We don't want it in here."

"C'mon," he says, "I just want to start a hair collection."

TJ, refusing oyster crackers when offered: "I don't like skinny oyster crackers, I only like fat ones."

TJ, looking into my eye with the apparatus from his doctor's kit: "I think there is some plaque from your ear in your eye."

TJ: what's that?

Daddy: A brussel sprout.

TJ: Is it a frog?

TJ holding his new teddy bear, a gift from his teacher: I am not going to give it to a bad woman. She would pull out all of the fur, cut off the nose and the arms and the legs and cut the body in half.

We are all sitting watching Sesame Street. Well, I am cleaning up random nonsense that collects around the tv and the kids are watching Sesame.

I throw Georgia a bone and she ignores it.

TJ says "She's like 'I'm all set with that. I just want to take a rest.' "

So exactly something that I would say.

TJ tells me, while looking out the window: "I want to jump out the window into the snow."

Mama: Probably not a good idea.

TJ: Would I get sent to jail?

TJ: All kids run slow.

Mama: Yes, they do. But once they get a little older, they will be able to run faster.

TJ: NO! NOT KIDS. Pigs!!

Mama: Oh. Pigs. Yes, all pigs do run slowly.

TJ: Yes. They have short legs, that's why. All the other animals run fast. Zebras run fast because they have longer legs.

Mama, walking in from a trip to Lowe's with TJ and Julia: TJ, take off your coat.

TJ: I'm cold.

Mama: Well, you could do some jumping jacks.

TJ: I'm not that cold.

Mama: TJ, around Valentine's Day, I am going to take you to a restaurant at night, with Ava and her Mama. And you will get dressed up and have a fancy dinner. Won't that be fun?

TJ: Do they have macaroni and cheese?

Mama: TJ, we are about to go over the Newport Bridge.

TJ: Are we on it?

Mama: Yes, we are. See the water on both sides of us down there?

TJ: Praise God for the water!

May YOU be my Valentine?

TJ: Mama, you haven't bought me a scooter in a long time.

Mama: Well, you don't even ride your bike now. I don't know if we want to buy you something else.

TJ: I'll ride it today.

Mama: OK, I'll go down to the track with you or Daddy will. One of us will go with you and one of us will stay with Julia so she can take a nap.

TJ: Mama, you go and Daddy, you stay home and clean the house.

We are sitting in Dunkin' Donuts before soccer starts.

TJ points at a man and whispers to me: Look at him

Mama: I see him, what about him?

TJ whispers: He has a moustache!

Mama: Oh, he does have a moustache.

TJ, with wide eyes: Do you hate people with moustaches?

Mama: No. Do you?

TJ: No, I like them.

Getting ready to go to play the other night. Walk downstairs and TJ says to me "are you going to a wedding?"

I guess I don't dress up too much.

TJ: Mama, did you know dinosaurs used to be all over the earth?

Mama: Really, they were? What did they eat?

TJ: Ham, meat and plants.

TJ: I just burped.

Mama: Did you say "excuse moi?"

TJ: No.

Mama: That's how you say it in French.

TJ: We're not in French.

I am cutting Julia's waffle into smaller pieces because she can't fit the last couple into her mouth.

TJ: Dada cut them too big. I need to tell him.

TJ walks into the bathroom where John is in the shower: Daddy, you cut Julia's waffle too big and next time you need to make the pieces smaller so she can fit them in her mouth.

Daddy: ok, I'll make a note of that.

TJ: And put it on the counter or in a secret place so next time you make a waffle you can look at it and remember to cut it smaller.