Curly Straight

TJ: Blow a bubble.

Mama complies.

TJ: Do it again.

Mama complies.

Repeat 17,000 times.

Throw in "I want to touch it."

Mama complies.

TJ touches it and then runs screaming across the house.

Comes back a second later.

"Do it again."

Mama: It's near your right hand.

TJ, looking at his left hand: I want my right hand to be on this arm!

Mama, talking to Daddy in car: "GGG* (our doctor) said that teething cannot cause fever, but I think that's why she had the fever the other day."

TJ from back seat: "Mommy, call him Doctor GGG, not GGG."

*names changed

TJ calls our bathing suits swimming lessons.

Looking at me wearing my bathing suit: "You got your swimming lessons on, Mama?"

TJ: That man needs to sit down.

Mama: Well, don't worry about it.

TJ: He needs to sit down.

Mama: You can tell him.

Man walks outside the pizza parlor and TJ starts to follow him.

Mama: Don't follow him outside.

TJ: Why?

Mama: He's a stranger.

Man walks back in and TJ looks at him for a good 40 seconds.

TJ: He's a stranger?

Mama: Yes. You can talk to him now because I am right here.

TJ: He might eat us.

TJ just asked me if Bebe has a mommy and daddy.

"Well, he did, but they are gone."

"Why?"

"People only stay around for certain amount of time."

"Why?"

"Then they go to heaven."

And that seemed to appease him.

Mama: TJ, what would you like for dinner?

TJ: Chips.

We have visitors in the house - unwanted visitors - in the form of mice.

I am petrified of them and they skeeb me out.

TJ was walking down the stairs yesterday in front of me and he said: "Don't worry Mama, I'm right behind you and I'll protect you from the mouse."

AWWWW!

TJ just said "Oh my gosh, I forgot to put my sunglasses on when I was outside. Oh my gosh."

TJ is hiding behind one of the couch cushions right now.

He's crying, because I ate a piece of his popcorn as I was bringing it to him at the table.

Julia, on the other hand, happily munching on a handful of cheese, a bunch of cheerios and two slices of turkey.

Mama: TJ Where are you?

TJ: I'm taking care of my babies.

Mama: Come upstairs.

TJ, as he's walking up the stairs: I'm taking care of my babies.

Mama: What are their name?

TJ, entering the room with two stuffed animals: Charlie and Fussy Bear.

TJ: Mommy, is it snowing out yet?

Mama: No, not yet.

TJ: It is still a wonderful day.

As I was getting the kids ready to take TJ to school this morning, I hadn't got dressed myself yet, I was too busy feeding them breakfast and getting them both dressed into warm winter clothes. I was still in what I slept in- a powder blue and white striped long john top and cozy gray pj bottoms with snowflakes on them.

As I was helping TJ get into his shoes, he looked at me and said "is that what you are wearing?"

TJ: Mama, am I tall?

Mama: Yes, you are tall, TJ.

TJ: Am I as tall as you?

Mama: Not yet, but someday you will be.

TJ: Will I be as tall as Daddy?

Mama: Yes, I think so.

TJ: Someday will I be a daddy?

Mama: TJ, let me wipe your nose. I'll do it gently.

TJ: Is Daddy hard?

Mama: What? I don't understand what you mean. Is Daddy hurt?

TJ (yelling really loudly): WHEN DADDY WIPES MY BOOGA SNOTS, DOES HE DO IT HARD?

TJ: No.

Mama: TJ, don't say no to me.

TJ: Nope.

Mama, talking about the prize won at Edaville Railroad: TJ, don't go near Julia with that sword.

TJ: I won't Mama.

Mama: If you do, you will go right into time out.

TJ: OK.

Mama: Are you going to go near her with that sword?

TJ: No.

Mama: What will happen if you do?

TJ: She will eat it?

Mama: TJ, don't say no to me.

TJ: mmt mhmm.

Pause.

TJ: Does that mean no?

"I'm going to throw Daddy a hug all the way to work and it will get him on the train and go SPLAT right on his face."

TJ: What is this?

Mama: It's a bungee cord. It's not for you.

TJ: It's not for me?

Mama: No, Daddy uses it to tie things to the top of the car so they won't fall off.

TJ: I use it too.

Mama: You do? What do you use it for?

TJ: I use it to catch ants.

Mama, bouncing Julia up and down on my lap as we are watching a Dora dvd.: Boing, boing, boing, boing!

TJ: Stop doing that, you are driving me crazy.

TJ and I did not have a good morning, he wasn't listening and I wasn't being patient.

Mama, in car, once we finally got of the house: TJ, let's talk about what happened today. What would make you listen to me better?

TJ: When I get a little bit older, I will listen to you.

Mama, at daycare, trying to get him to leave: TJ, let's go home so you can see the nice dinner I made for you.

TJ, looking up all excited: Soup?

Mama: No, not soup.

Drive home.

Mama: Here's your dinner.

TJ: I WANT SOUP.

Mama: ok, what kind of soup? We have clam chowder and chicken soup.

TJ: Broccoli soup.

Mama: I don't think we have any of that.

TJ: Yes, we do.

Mama, scrambling, finding onion soup mix, broccoli and pasta: ok, buddy, we do.

TJ, about three minutes later, eating his broccoli soup: It's so delicious.

TJ: Mama, don’t laugh.

Mama: You don’t want me to laugh?

TJ: No.

Mama: Why not?

TJ: It drives me crazy.

Mama: I love to hear you laugh. It makes my heart melt, the sound of your laughter.

TJ: It makes your heart melt?

Mama: Yes.

TJ: Why?

Mama: Cause you’re the bomb.

TJ: I’m not the bomb, I’m TJ.

Mama: laughs.

TJ: Don’t laugh Mama.

Mama: TJ, eat that yellow pepper.

TJ: No, I don't like it.

Mama: Eat it, it will make you feel alive.

TJ: No. (puts it in his cup)

Mama (pretends to drink the yellow pepper from the cup): Woowoo, woooh!

TJ: Why you say Woowoo?

Mama: I feel alive right here (points at belly) from eating that yellow pepper.

TJ, pretends to reach into Mama's belly and takes his hand and puts it behind his back: Stop it.

Mama: You don't want Mama to feel alive?

TJ takes his hand and pretends to eat what's in it.

Mama: TJ, you are going to start brushing your own teeth.

TJ: I will do it when I'm older.

Mama: You are older now.

TJ: I will do it when I'm bigger.

Mama: You are bigger now.

TJ: I will do it when I am giant and I can crush your bones and crush Daddy's bones.

TJ, spitting out the very, very diluted mint mouthwash: I don't like it. It's too spicy.

When I was one, I was boring (Mom's note - that means born)

When I was two, I slept in a crib.

When I was three, I stopped wearing sleeping pants and I had a birthday.

Soon I will be four.

TJ, walking into the gym and seeing the ladies on the treadmills: "Those are mamas."

Mama (expecting to hear the answer right or left):
TJ, do you know which way we are turning?

TJ: South?

Mama, coughing: excuse me!

TJ: NO, you have to say 'bless you myself."

TJ, to guy in Burger King: You want some popcorn?

Guy doesn't hear.

TJ: Excuse me. Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!

Guy looks at TJ.

TJ: You want some popcorn?

Guy: No thank you.

TJ: It's sleeping popcorn.

Guy: Not right now, thank you. Maybe later.

TJ: OK, you come over to our house later and get some popcorn.

3 a.m.

TJ comes into our room. "Mama, I'm thirsty."

I pick him up and put him in our bed and we both fall asleep.

7 a.m.

"Mama, you are taking a long time to get me something to drink."

I walk downstairs and TJ sees me in my uniform, wearing the blue skirt.

"You look just like ballet," he tells me.

Mama: TJ, did you have fun at the playground with Mimi?

TJ: Yes.

Mama: Was anyone else there, or just you?

TJ: There was a big girl there.

Mama: Was she by herself?

TJ: No, I was there too!

Mama, hanging up the phone with the Easter Bunny: "TJ, the Easter Bunny wants to make sure you are going to brush your teeth and mind Mommy and Daddy. He also wants to know what kind of chocolate you like."

TJ: A lot.

TJ, walking down the stairs with a packet of peas: Daddy and I are going to plant these because I'm hungry.

Mama: Do you want a snack?

TJ: No, I'm going to have these peas once they grow.

TJ: If I am a daddy, then there will be two daddies.

Mama: What do you mean?

TJ: If I am a daddy, there will be two daddies.

Mama: Who will be the other daddy?

TJ: Daddy.

Mama: Oh, I see. Well, Daddy would be the grandfather if you had a baby.

TJ: Julia's grandfather.

Mama: Hm. OK, if you had a baby, what would you name the baby?

TJ: Um, um, um. Daddy.

Mama: Oh. OK. So, Daddy your daddy, would be Daddy your baby's grandfather.

Mama: What do you want for breakfast?

TJ: Oatmeal.

Mama: Oatmeal with raisins?

TJ: No. Oatmeal with plain.

Mama: When there are two babies from the same momma at the same time, that's called twins.
When there are three babies, that's called triplets. When there are four babies, quadruplets.

TJ: And when there are ten babies, that's a lot!

We went to a PawSox game yesterday.

Today TJ informed me that he would like to go to an ElmoSox game.

TJ to Daddy: Your hair is freaking crazy.

Mama: TJ, why didn't you sleep in your own bed last night?

TJ: I was too tired to sleep in my own bed.

Mama: That doesn't really make sense.

TJ: Well, there was a troll, so I ran upstairs to your room.

Mama: Did you see the troll?

TJ: Yes.

Mama: What does a troll look like?

TJ: They have sharp teeth, sharp claws, sharp toenails, sharp feet, sharp hair, sharp noses, sharp bellies and sharp everything.

Mama: Are trolls nice or mean?

TJ: Mean, they take people on a bad adventure.

Mama: Are there any nice trolls?

TJ: Zero nice trolls.

Mama: What would get rid of the trolls?

TJ: The troll spray will make the trolls disappear.

Mama: Anything else to tell me about the trolls?

TJ: Yes, they are just scary things.

So apparently I use the word Freakin to describe things and now so does my 3-year-old.

"Shut the window," he tells me the other night, in front of our guests. "It's freaking cold out there."

TJ: Mama, I want to go to the condo and bring the flashlight and go into the basement and see the creepy creatures on the wall.

A bird is singing outside our window. A high pitched tune - wooo wooo wooo.

I whistle back to it, three times. It makes its noise back to me. Repeat about 10 times.

TJ looks at me and says "Mama, I didn't know you knew how to chirp!"

Mama, showing TJ a frozen chicken pot pie: Do you want this for dinner?

TJ: What is it?

Mama: Chicken pot pie.

TJ: Does it have birds in it?

TJ started quoting from a library book we have while at the doctor's office for Julia's 15-month visit today.

Every night we go through a ritual with both kids, we read to them, snuggle up and tell them all the people who love them. Tonight John put TJ to bed, and I put Julia to bed. John told me that TJ was requesting me, so I went in to his room. Since John had already told him all the people who love him, I decided to go a different route.

Mama: Sweet dreams.

TJ: Sweet dreams.

Mama: Sleep tight.

TJ: Sleep tight.

Mama: I love you.

TJ: I love you too.

Mama: God bless you.

TJ: I didn't sneeze.

I was trying to make TJ feel better after getting his hair washed, which he is not fond of.

"TJ, come help me get Julia's milk."

"I can't right now, Mama, I'm too busy crying."

TJ stands at the landing and says "Mama, what stairs are you? Upstairs or downstairs?"

Mama: TJ, I bought you a bunch of good stuff from the grocery store last night. French fries and drinking yogurt and spaghetti-os.

TJ: Mama, you are hooking me up.

Mama: TJ, do you want to watch a dvd?

TJ: Yes. You pick it.

Mama: I get to pick it? Oh boy!

TJ: Pick Heffalump.

TJ asks me this morning, "where are we going? School? Gym? Church?"

When I tell him gym, he says "yay!" but I'm pretty sure he would have said that for any of the options.

Mama: TJ, how many Madagascar books to you have?

TJ: Two ones.

TJ is learning about Hawaii in his school.

Today he told me "Hello-ha."

Mama: TJ, what are you drinking?

TJ: Cold hot chocolate.

TJ has Sesame Street Christmas ornaments that never made it back into the Christmas storage box. I think Mimi bought them for him after his broke all the feet off of the original Sesame Street Christmas ornaments.

Today, he took the string off of one and told me "It's not a Christmas ornament anymore. Now it's a toy."

TJ: Mama, did you get me my ABC blanket?

Mama: No, KK's friend did.

TJ: What's her name?

Mama: Lisa.

TJ: She bought me that ABC blanket when I was little?

Mama: Yes, when you were first born.

TJ: Because I was sad, because I didn't have any blankets. Then I got sadder and sadder and sadder.

Mama looks in rearview mirror and sees a sad looking little boy.

TJ: But then Lisa bought me that ABC blanket and I slept with it all day long, with a big smile on my face.

I had TJ put his ABC blanket in his room yesterday. He has a bad habit of flipping it around and of course it hits people, mostly Julia.

I heard him tell Mimi, "I don't feel right without my ABC blankie."

Daddy and TJ are playing catch with the golden ball filled with floating glitter. It's the ball that I tell TJ is the Be Nice to Julia ball, he gets to use it when he is good to his sister. It's banging hard on the floor when a throw is missed and we are afraid it's going to conk Julia.

Daddy: This ball is so heavy, let's use another one.

TJ: OK.

Daddy: I wonder why this ball is so heavy.

TJ: It is full of Mommy love.

Leaving the gym today, TJ says "I need to get a drink from the sprinkler."

Leaving the post office today, TJ says "we are missing someone."

"Who?" I asked, looking into the seat to make sure we have Julia with us.

"Dada." he says.

Aw.

After my ceremony, TJ tells me, "I am going to call you Major Powers from now on, Mommy."

Mama: TJ, what to you want for breakfast?

TJ: Oatmeal. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.

Mama: TJ, what do you want for a snack?

TJ takes his hands and twists both of them in a back and forth motion down by his waist.

Mama: What's that?

TJ: sign language for drinking yogurt.

For the last few months or so, TJ has taken a dislike to me saying mmm hmm, which I say kind of a lot.

Every time I say it, he says "Mama, don't say that!! I don't like it when you say mmm hmmm!!!"

I tried to break the habit but of course it still slips out.

Now when I say it, he says "Mama, you said mm hmm."

Came out the other day, when he was telling me a story. "Mm hmm," I reply, as he tells me about his day at school.

TJ: Mama, you said mm hmm!

Mama: Yes, honey, I did. That's what people say when they are listening to a story.

TJ: Allright!

And continues on with his story and hasn't said a word about me saying mm hmm again.