Curly Straight

My credit union allows me to deposit checks online via my scanner.

Scan in it, sign it, turn it over, scan that side in, boom! Instant funds deposited. Write "void" on the check and toss it. It's pretty easy and so convenient, although it always seems to take more than one try for some reason.

Today I am paying bills and had a couple of checks to deposit. One was in the scanner, already deposited. One was sitting in front of me waiting to go into the scanner next.

Guess which one I wrote "void mofo" on?

Today at the gym, I am in the middle of talking to a girl I sometimes chat with. She's a blonde, with a young daughter a little younger than TJ. She's behind me, on the stairmaster, and I am on the stationary bicycle. I have to turn my head to chat with her, so when another one of the moms walks by, (blonde too), and starts chatting with her, she doesn't realize that we were chatting.

I am not the least bit offended, as I know she didn't mean to interrupt us.

What goes through my head? "They are talking blonde to each other."

Seriously. This is the way I think.

Another case in point. Today I observed the body language of Winnie the Pooh's Mama Roo in the Heffelump movie when the Mama Heffelump put her trunk around Mama Roo, Mama Roo had her arms crossed and I thought to myself "note the body language of Mama Roo. She wants nothing to do with that Heffelump."

Is it my imagination or does Maria on Sesame Street look constantly puzzled?

I am not going to save up the red sour patch kids 'til the end from now on.

I am just going to eat the red ones and throw the rest away because really, why not?

I feel this weird sense of obligation to fill out online and print surveys because I think I really can make a difference in the way products are priced, marketed and advertised and I think it's kind of fun.

I am signed up for a couple of the survey sites and I choose to participate in them more than is probably normal.

"Check here if you would like to receive invitations to take part in focus groups, sample new products, or give feedback on new ad campaigns."

Oh,heck yeah, sign me up.

30 Rock on Netflix's Instant Watch feature is sucking away my life 21 minutes at a time.

JP just brought home a new type of beer that he heard was good from one of his new co-workers.

It is delicious! Makes switching jobs and a three hour daily commute worth it right there.

The clincher? MILLER.

It's called Miller Chill and I love it.

Our plans were to spring clean. Well, mine at least. I think my husbands’ plan was to take a nap.

What we ended up doing in reality is going to the zoo, where my 2-year-old told another little boy not to look at his seals.

Had to run to CVS today to get laundry detergent, dishwashing detergent, and a couple of other things.

Stuffed TJ into the little part of the carriage and put Julia in her carseat bucket up on top. I asked TJ if he wanted the Disney music cd for the car. He did. He also wanted bubbles, which he got and a fly swatter, which he did not.

Twenty minutes of my life yesterday consisted of googling "hamburger grease clog" due to the english muffin floating in the full sink of greasy dishes and water. I thought I remember reading somewhere that bread will soak up the fat globules. In that case, maybe I should eat more bread.

It pretty much ended up draining on its own, with a loud sucking "WHOOOOSH" that scared TJ and I in the living room. After that, TJ and I put a concoction of apple cider vinegar and baking soda down the sink, which may not have helped the clog, but looked damn cool. Then we boiled water and put that down the sink too.

Then I tried to put the sick 5-month-old girl down for a nap, which didn't work out as well as I had hoped.

As that is happening, TJ is watching Sesame Street videos online (God Bless Sesame Street) as I am reading an article on how to remove lice from one's head. No valid reason whatsoever for reading that, except that it was pretty well written and interested me.

I hear a beautiful singing voice from the computer singing "One, Two, Three, Four." It was so stunning, I took a moment to stop reading my lice article to listen. It was so clear and beautiful, it seriously brought a tear to my eye. The singer is Feist.

Today I listened to her stuff on itunes and while it is still gorgeous, it was such a moment yesterday when I first heard her on Sesame Street that hearing the "real" version of the song did not do it for me.

I think it had to do with the fact that I love having the kids this small and Sesame Street to me just rocks and it is cool that they have pop culture singers on it and maybe a little emotional from getting oh about four hours sleep the night before.

We are having a crazy time here this week, between the dogs getting sprayed by the skunk and another rat (euw euw euw) killed by my manly husband, I am getting so skeebed out I am scared to go in the yard. This morning there is something dead in the yard - or at least pretending to be dead but probably just waiting for me to go investigate it so it can get me. I don't know what it is, because I am too scared to go close to it to find out. What if these animals get into the house and eat us? If you don't hear from me again, you'll know that's what happened.

TJ woke up Julia too early this morning and all hell broke loose.

I need a massage.

TJ has asked me a couple of times lately why I don't have a penis.

To add to the two kids, two adults, two dogs, three cats, we now have another living thing in the house. A caterpillar. It's big and thick and green and it's in a lemonade jar and I think is getting ready to make its cocoon.

Sign at Agway said "bird feeders - 25% off" but being a new mom here is what I saw:

Breast feeders 25% off.

I find it hilarious that the condoms are located directly next to the diapers.