Curly Straight

Just ordered Slim in 6 online. I couldn’t believe all the questions after placing the order…”do you want to buy this?” No. “OK, then. This?” No. “Well, how about this?” No. No. No. NO! I think there were at least ten different screens to get through. I finally did and am excited to receive it and try it. It’s one hour a day, six days a week on my own. I don’t know what I’m going to do at the gym now. I still have to go, because Little T likes the daycare.

Later:
Just as I have become determined to lose weight and you know I’m serious because I was about to switch from good, yummy, snobby beer to vodka to help me lose weight, I have a pregnancy scare. Not really a scare, because I am 37 years old and once Little T turns two, we are going to have another one. BUT THAT’S TWO MONTHS AWAY AND I WANT TO ENJOY THE SUMMER! Selfish? Perhaps. True? Yup. Took two pregnancy tests. One said "not pregnant" and the other had two lines, but one way lighter than the other. Practically transparent, really.

I did so well today, eating wise. Until a kielbasa entered the picture. Past 7 pm now so no more eating, but possible a drink to celebrate summer and to avoid studying.

Two more rounds of pregnancy testing to add to the other five or so within the past few days. Two said “nope” – three said “yep.”

If I am pregnant, my due date is Feb. 25. Wow.

Goodbye ankles, hello cankles.

Doctor just called. Gave me her personal cell phone number for “results”. I called her and got dizzy when she told me.

I'm pregnant!

In other oh-so-important news, I bought a giant papaya from Whole Foods today.
Oh My-A! Papaya!

Yum.

Pregnant brain already prevails and I am only one day pregnant.

Forgot my hat this morning while going to drill. Told John tonight. He tells me I already told him that.

At the market I realize I forgot my wallet as I am standing at the deli.

I couldn’t remember what I was going to tell Shelby. Then I remembered what I was going to tell her - very important news that I saw the 2nd Life on the D List the other day and there was one part I was cracking up so hard and needed to tell her.

But I can't remember which part now.

Fatigue kicks in. I feel foggy and exhausted. It’s fun with an almost two year old, let me tell ya.

Little T left gym daycare early due to slamming his tiny little finger (it’s not even the size of a mini golf pencil) in the bathroom door. Being the stellar mom that I am, I rushed him to John’s office so he could take a look at the damage. He declared him fit for duty, but did suggest I take Little T right home and sliding some Tylenol into him to help with the pain. After we left John’s office, still being that stellar mom, I decided I needed a McGriddle, now.

I usually try to eat relatively healthy. Sort of. I love organic food and would kill to have a TJ's in Providence. I’m known to shop at WF. But, certainly a few exceptions exist. Like the entire can of vanilla frosting eaten on the way home from the grocery store with one of the plastic spoons kept in the glove compartment for just such occasions. And almost whole Domino’s medium thin crust pepperoni pizza (don’t knock it until you try it).

For some reason, being pregnant triggers a craving for fast food –and when I get that craving, I need it satisfied. Fattening Delicious Bucket Of Lard - case in point. I needed them during my first pregnancy. I needed one today. Oh, and hash browns, which are two for $1 so of course I am going to get two. Don’t tell John. He doesn’t approve of my McGriddle Mania.
Mcdonald’s is not usually the Mecca of Niceness. Quite the contrary, usually. The workers are usually the meanest of the mean. I don’t blame them, in a way. But today? Today, the lady at the drive thru was sweet as pie. Sweeter, really.

She called me beautiful. Me, with my pink gym shirt on and my red sports bra peeking out of the shoulders. Me, with my crazy ass hair sticking up every which way. Me, who had just ordered the most fattening McGriddle – the one with 560 calories Mickey D's Nutritional Content, along with two hash browns, and a medium ice tea (regular, not decaf, with cream and sugar). Me,with the broken baby in the back seat. She must have called me sweetheart and honey at least three times each. She told me to have a great day and to be careful out there and she waved at Little T. I didn’t deserve to be called beautiful.

But my $5 and change got me that and more.

A McGriddle, some hashbrowns and a whole lot of happiness.

Queasy.

Dizzy.

Tired.

Pregnant.

First ultrasound tomorrow.

There's not much cooler than this.

Right now a life is growing inside of me and through the magic of ultrasound, we were able to witness the heartbeat (159 beats per minute).

This little one (1.3 centimeter) is an actual human life growing inside my belly that will someday run and jump and laugh and play. How simply amazing is that?

Queasy. Queasy. Queasy.

All we have is diet ginger ale, which is nothing but a big ole tease.

Did I mention I feel queasy?

I don't know if I am showing yet. Some of my pants are definitely getting tighter, that's for sure, but I don't feel like people look at me and give me that "she's pregnant" smile.

Searching the house high and low for my elusive ipod. I know I stuck it somewhere thinking "oh, of course I'll remember." Yeah. Not so much.

So, I'm looking through suitcases, thinking that I never unpacked it after a trip. I pull out a little pad of paper with three small words on it written in pencil. It is the suitcase that I had in the hospital, almost two years ago when giving birth to Little T.

It says "labor is awful."

Even my socks are too small when I'm pregnant. Along with my pants, my bras - almost everything, except for my belly.

Morning sickness (first time for the real thing) plus fresh cherry tomatoes from the garden do not make for a pretty picture.

T patted my back as I got sick and also made spitting sounds into the commode to show that I was not alone.

He also jumped on my back during the episode and yelled "piggybatch" which was so not happening.

Let the maternity clothing wearing commence!

Sometimes I look at my belly and think "Really? There's a fully formed miniature baby in there?"

It seems as though I have been 11 weeks pregnant forever.

Eating Funyuns and a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar, alternating a bite of each.

Can I attribute this to being 11 weeks pregnant? Am I still 11 weeks pregnant? It's been a long time, it seems, this 11 weeks.

This 12 weeks has taken forever to get here.

13 weeks - 2nd appt today - heard the little tiny heartbeat whooshing around in there.

For the first time, I felt the little baby last night in my sleep. Felt a couple of little pushes in my belly. CUTE!

This little baby in my belly likes Caramello bars, just like his (her?) momma.

So, my belly has officially popped. It happened on Tuesday. All of a sudden, big pregnant belly, there you were.

I must buy my clothes too big because almost all of my coats and my sweatshirts are still totally wearable.

I would never think of buying something size "small" because I do not consider myself small. I am a tough, sturdy, medium, oftentimes even a large.

The last batch of maternity clothes that were donated to me had a bunch of smalls in them and you know what? They fit me! Right now I have on a Gap zip up hoodie, which I thought fit me in real life, but I'm wearing it 4.5 months pregnant and it fits me just fine. There's growing room, even.

After I go back to normal, I may have to rethink my size, which may be a good thing.

My two year old just felt my minus 3 month old move for the first time in my belly.

So, in retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to eat an entire bag of Trader Joe's sweet and salty pecans. But it seemed like it at the time.

Yikes, just realized that when Little Number Two arrives on scene, I am going to lose one whole closet stuffed with sweatshirts and sweaters and currently all of my clothes that don't fit because of the aforementioned Little Number Two who is stuffed into my belly right now.

We have a good size house, we just don't have good storage space.

Let the nesting commence.

Salvation Army is going to be psyched. I already cleaned out some drawers but need to do more, more, more.

I like a clean, uncluttered look. My house, not so clean and uncluttered. Crap everywhere. Never again will I buy a house without an entryway. Never!!!!

At least it's not twins.

We'll get there. We'll get there.

I have a disco baby in my belly.

TJ was not like this. I remember him only poking me on one side. He also had the hiccups pretty much constantly. This baby just parties all over the place.

He or she is either dancing or exercising or something that takes up every inch of my belly.

So I'm pregnant, which means I pee. A lot.

But I seriously just contemplated going pee in TJ's potty so I wouldn't have to walk upstairs.

I gave it serious thought for about five seconds before deciding against it.

With all that has been happening the past couple of weeks, I haven't had much time to think about Disco Baby, besides the time when there is a party in my uterus.

Today I was thinking, "once February gets here, I'll really be able to think about it and will probably be a little more freaked out." I then looked at the calendar and realized that Friday is February. Yikesamikesa.

I had a dream that Disco Baby is a girl.

My husband is a Furniture Moving King.

I napped so hard, I even dreamed I was taking a nap.

These last three weeks are going to last forever. I can feel it.

Getting in and out of bed? I have to throw my two legs over the side of the bed first, followed by my belly and then my head - the holder of my now chubby face.

Maternity pants are beginning not to fit me anymore, which is a lot of fun.

I huff and puff for absolute no exertion, compared to usual.

My belly is big and moving constantly.

It will all be worth it. I already love this little girl/guy. If I were a bettin' man, I would place a wager that this one is a girl. Which means some serious shopping is in store.

We'll see.

I will forget so I need to have this written down.

At this point - a little over 37 weeks - I have gained just about 30 pounds, maybe a little less. I have no idea what I gained with TJ.

Just when you think everything has calmed down at our household, a bug decides to attack again. This time our throats. I think it's a small little bug with lots of arms, holding little daggers and stabbing our throats whenever it gets the chance.

I want to do laundry as we have been pretty much out of commission these last couple of days, but considering it's 1:35 a.m., I don't want to make any noise.

I'm also hot.

I also can't manage to wear anything without getting toothpaste on it and having to change.

It seems like I have been pregnant forever, but suddenly the time is almost here and it seems like it got here fast.

The last few weeks have been no fun, with TJ being in the hospital and me getting this terrible throat sickness for the past five days.

Still waiting to nest. I hope I have a better project this time than washing the car like last time.

With the due date getting closer, I keep on looking at the expiration dates on certain items, like the milk. Our milk is expiring two days before my due date.

I just brought a roll of toilet paper upstairs and I wonder to myself, "will this be gone before or after the new baby gets here?"

I wake up in the middle of the night because my feet and my hands are so extremely itchy. My feet especially. Weird.

So, I'm 2-3 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced, whatever the hell that means.

So, I'm going to be having a baby tomorrow.